Akademija TCT®, vpis v PETO generacijo

Letos odpiram(o) vrata že peti generaciji tri letne zasebne šole za transpersonalne svetovalce/ke, Akademija TCT®.

Med oz po študiju na Rushmorju sem pred leti z lahkoto sestavil moderni in napredni program izobraževanja, ki temelji na razvoju zavesti in je izrazito pragmatično orientiran in istočasno strokovno/znanstveno obarvan Znanja sem imel dovolj, izkušenj pri vodenju take šole pač ne, priznam.

No, sedaj je povsem druga zgodba. Pet let konstantnega učenja vodenja zahtevnih seminarjev za bodoče (psiho)terapevte, nudenja konzultacij in supervizij slušateljem/icam, soočanje z osebnimi zgodbami slušateljev/ic, birokracija in soočanje z državnimi ustanovami in seveda istočasno posvečeno delo na sebi – vse to je rodilo res iskreno in še močnejšo željo po širjenju pridobljenega znanja in izkušenj vsem, ki vas to res zanima.

V teh petih letih sem bil priča mnogim situacijam napredka v življenju slušateljev/ic in za to sem res hvaležen: ozdravitev smrtne bolezni, menjave službe, poroke, ločitve, naraščaji, in seveda tudi kritike, predčasne zapustitve Programa itd…

Vse to je Življenje. :)

Spodaj pa objavljam novosti za peto generacijo naše šole.

Še ena misel:
Program je po petih letih aktivnega dela in sprememb res dozorel, je temeljito preizkušen in dejansko deluje.
Praksa je pokazala, da morda ni primeren za intelektualce in teoretike (in morebitno bežanje pred globljo resničnostjo), blesti pa v rokah in srcih tistih, ki si RES in DEJANSKO želijo sprememb in napredka v svojem življenju v delovanju in ne zgolj razmišljanju ter se istočasno želijo usposobiti za strokovno vodenje naprednih seans moderne (psiho)terapije.

Novosti za vpis v peto generacijo in v samem Programu Akademije TCT®:

 

  • v prvem letniku je večji poudarek na seminarjih Integral NVC oz nenasilne komunikacije, s poudarkom na osebnem napredku s pomočjo osnovnih principov tega res naprednega humanističnega sistema.
  • dodali smo strokovne seminarje neverbalne oz telesne komunikacije! Branje telesne komunikacije je pri vodenju seans psihoterapije zelo dobrodošlo.
  • dodali smo možnost izkustva napredne hipnoterapije (regresije) za vsakega slušatelja/ce, ki tako izbere (v tretjem letniku).
  • dodali smo Intenziv Razsvetljenja (v tretjem letniku) in možnost učenja Kriya Yoge. Obe tehniki sta zelo napredni in v naši šoli dodana vrednost in na voljo tistim, ki želijo še več in več.
  • pisanje in oddaja strokovnih esejev na temo kognitivne, humanistične ter transpersonalne psihologije ni več obvezno, je pa zaželeno!
  • odločno več poudarka bo na t.i. Dialoškemu delu z Jaz-pozicijami.
  • visokošolska izobrazba ni več pogoj (je zgolj zaželena)
    Ob izvajanju Programa v zadnjih štirih letih je postopoma postalo evidentno, da je visokošolska izobrazba prej ovira kot prednost pri našem pragamtično usmerjenemu Programu. Zato le-ta ni več pogoj za vpis.
  • dodali smo seminar modernega šamanizma, v tretjem letniku.
    Tretji letnik naše šole je namenjen duhovnemu nivoju našega bivanja in moderni šamanizem lahko pri tem res ogromno pomaga.
  • več poudarka na t.i. Open space pristopu k usposabljanju in izobraževanju
    Slušatelje in slušateljice zgolj spodbujamo k izvajanju praktičnih nalog ter esejev in jih ne pogojujemo.
    Vsakdo naj izvaja Program iz sebe za sebe, ne pa zaradi nekih pravil in zavoljo samega Programa.
  • dodali smo usposabljanje za Usui Shiki Ryoho Reiki, vse stopnje, tudi mojstrsko
    To je dodana vrednost k Programu; na koncu šolanja bodo vsi slušatelji/ce  mojstri Reikija (če bodo to želeli, seveda).
  • večji poudarek na integraciji elementov NVC-ja v metodologijo TCT® in v sam Program
    Nenasilna komunikacija (NVC) vsebuje učinkovite elemente humanistične psihologije in zato smo jih integrirali v sam način podajanja snovi in tudi v samo metodologijo naše metode.
  • več poudarka na praktičnih vajah in manj na akademski teoriji
    Že tako minimalno teoretiziranje smo še zmanjšali in tako odprli prostor za temeljitejše delo na sebi v praktičnih vajah individualno, v parih in v skupini.

 

Info paket 2015 (vse podrobnosti, pogosta vprašanja in odgovori, prijavnica in vprašalnik) lahko snamete tukaj >>
(odpre se nova stran)

Fixing life

I found this text on the LifeHack.org web site and it is rather well written so I share it here on the Integral Live Blog.

In my private psychotherapy practice I tend to refrain from giving such straight forward advices… so let me call this blog an attempt at re-maping general perception of Life as some of us might know it.

:)

Here we go:

“Life is like a house that needs to be built and maintained. People try to avoid many realities and continue to ruin what’s good in their life without even noticing. Such poor choices don’t have to be made by you. Being happy and successful starts with acknowledging what damage you are doing to yourself right now and doing well to fix it.

 1. You ruin your life when you don’t forgive

You can’t take life too seriously. People will hurt you and you will hurt others. Holding on to grudges or anger will only blind you from focusing on what is truly important.

 

2. You ruin your life when you keep a job you don’t like

Sometime you keep a job because you want a steady paycheck. But why jeopardize your happiness and focus on the present rather than on the future where you are free and happy?

 

3. You ruin your life when you care about what others think

You can’t please anyone. Caring about what others think will only make you empty as people will end up hurting and disappointing you.

 

4. You ruin your life when you are always procrastinating

Stop waiting for things to be perfect before you take action. Go out there and do what needs to be done to make your life perfect.

 

5. You ruin your life when you don’t take care yourself

Your body is your vehicle to success. Treating your body right by eating right and maintaining a healthy lifestyle will not only secure a healthy future but boost your self-esteem now.

 

6. You ruin your life when you complain about everything

Living a life of complaints doesn’t take you anywhere but will leave you disappointed, frustrated and angry. You need to channel that energy you use to complain into something worthwhile.

 

7. You ruin your life when you live in regrets

Your past cannot be changed. Learn from it and move on. Living in regrets only saps your positive energy and distracts you from possibilities.

 

8. You ruin your life when you pick the wrong partner

If you are Samson, please don’t pick a Delilah. Nothing is as awful or destructive as living with someone who doesn’t compliment or make you happy.

 

9. You ruin your life when you compare yourself to others

There is nothing as awful or as degrading as trying to compare yourself with others. We are all unique so why try to compare yourself with someone who is not you.

 

10. You ruin your life when you believe money will make you happy

Money offers you freedom, but there are many simple things in life that will make you happy and don’t require any money. Draining your life and focusing all your attention on wealth can make you distraught.

 

11. You ruin your life when you are not grateful

Gratitude means to appreciate the things you have. If you are thankful, you will have an ease, and an internal peace.

 

12. You ruin your life when you are in the wrong relationships

It is a bad thing to have an awful partner, but it will also tear you down if you are in relationships with friends who bruise and batter your self-worth.

 

13. You ruin your life when you are pessimistic

You should always be optimistic that things will be better. You cannot be negative and continue to condemn everything good that will come your way.

 

14. You ruin your life by living a lie

Many take on lives that are not theirs. They pretend and live under false guises. You have to be completely honest about who you are and live on that line.

 

15. You ruin your life by worrying about everything

Take some time to reflect and appreciate those great things you currently have. Although life is not perfect, it most definitely has handed some wonderful things to you. So appreciate it and quit worrying about what may not matter at the end of the day.”

Reposted from the LifeHack.org web site.

:)

Dr. John Rowan v Sloveniji

Na Akademiji TCT®, zasebni šoli za transpersonalne svetovalce, tudi letos (že peto leto zapored) gostimo svetovno priznanega avtorja, psihologa in psihoterapevta ter samorealiziranega posameznika, Dr John Rowana.

Dr Rowan bo za javnost vodil dve delavnici, tokrat izrazito praktično obarvani,  v soboto bomo čas in energijo posvetili Avtentičnemu ter Subtilnemu nivoju in tranziciji med tema dvema stanjema zavesti,
v nedeljo pa Kavzalnemu nivoju.

Predavanja bodo potekala v angleškem jeziku, prevod zagotovljen.

Seminarja bosta potekala drugi vikend v septembru, torej 12. in 13.9. s pričetkom ob 10ih oba dneva.

Vabljeni! Zanimivo bo!

:)

Na kratko o Dr Rowanu:

Dr John Rowan has been speaking and writing on the transpersonal for many years, and has met and corresponded with Ken Wilber.  His book ‘The Transpersonal: Spirituality in Psychotherapy and Counselling’ first appeared in 1993, with a second edition in 2005.  Recently John has been writing about the transpersonal in coaching as well as in therapy.  He has been working recently on a third edition of his book ‘The Reality Game’, which integrates the Humanistic, the Existential, the Authentic, the Relational and the Transpersonal, or more briefly the HEART therapies.
He is a Fellow of the BPS, the BACP and the UKCP, and has presented workshops in 25 countries.

His web site:

http://www.johnrowan.org.uk/

 

 

Transpersonalno iz oči v oči

Izkušnje onstran petih čutov in nad vsakdanjim dojemanjem sebe in sveta je to, kar raziskuje transpersonalna psihologija.

Stari Grki so na dramskem odru nosili maske, ki so jim rekli “persone”. Lahko bi torej rekel, da je transpersonalno tisto, kar je onstran naših mask, igric in taktiziranj. Onstran relativne percepcije in kognicije.

Hmm. V srednjem veku bi me za besede spodaj sežgali na grmadi; psihiatri bi naivno in brez prave osnove verjetno sumili shizofrenijo ali kaj podobnega; Cerkev bi me morda izobčila, češ, brez nas to ne gre; transpersonalisti bi me vzeli za svojega, praktikani yoge prav tako; kvantni fiziki bi v teh besedah prepoznali rezultate svojih poskusov v pospeševalnikih; humanistični psihologi bi prikimavali in moja bivša žena bi skomignila z rameni in vprašala, če sem danes že sploh kaj jedel:

obstaja stanje zavesti nad vsemi stanji, ki se jih trenutno večina izmed nas zaveda. Značilno za to stanje je nespremenljivost, popolnost, totalni potencial, dinamična odzivnost, večna radost in globok mir.

To stanje je moja prava narava, To sem Jaz. Ko odpadejo vse identifikacije, ostane(m) samo To, kar zares je/sem, večno, od vedno, za vedno: transpersonalna bit, abstraktni potencial, in če uporabim religiozni izraz, to je Bog, v Njegovi neosebni obiki, Brahma. In z Njim sem v zavestni Enosti.

To je moja prava narava, moj Jaz. Jaz Sem. Aham Brahmasmi (Jaz sem To (brahma)). I am. In to velja, prepričan sem, za vse, ki to berete.

Referenc za To seveda ne manjka, od religioznih, do znanstveno fizičnih, pa prek filozofskih do transpersonalno psiholoških.

Poglejmo nekatere:

  • Bog je “Tisti, ki JE”, brez začetka in brez konca. Jezus razodene, da ima tudi On božje ime: “Jaz sem” (Jn 8,28).
    Vir: RKS.si Forumi
  • Aham Brahmasmi -v Sanskritu to pomeni dobesedno Jaz sem Brahma. Brahma je neosebni aspekt Boga.
    Vir: Hinduwebsite.com
  • Pravzaprav je vse kar obstaja, le različno valovanje v oceanu te Univerzalne Ravni. To je Enotno polje in to Polje ni materialno. Ultimativno je to Polje Zavesti. In individualne zavesti, moja zavest, vaša zavest, pravzaprav vsakršna zavest kjer koli je zavest le zato, ker je del te Univerzalne zavesti. Celotno vesolje ni ničesar drugega kot To. Ljudje, drevesa in živali smo le valovi različnih frekvenc temeljnega Enotnega Superstirng Polja.
    Vir: John Hagelin, PhD, kvantni fizik, 2004
  • “Vse stvari so bile ustvarjene; brez Njega ni bila ustvarjena nobena stvar, ki je bila ustvarjena.”
    Vir: Biblija Janez 1:3
  • “It has many names: formlessness, void, I and the Father are One, My me is God.”
    Vir: Dr. John Rowan (The Transpersonal: Spirituality in Psychotherapy and Counselling, 2005, p.76 – amazon.com >>)
  • “The Source of everything, The Causal level…”
    Vir: Wilber, Ken: Integral Psychology: Consciousness, Spirit, Psychology, Therapy, 2000 amazon.com >>
  • “Jaz in (moj) Oče sva eno”.
    Vir: Biblija, Janez 10:30

In lepota tega stanja zavesti je, da je dostopen vsakomur. Ni potrebno 30 let Zen meditacije, niti 10 let Kriya Yoge ali 4 leta duhovne univerze. Ne. Dovolj je že preklop zavesti iz beta v theta, jasna namera in predanost in to je to.

Who’s the Emotional Vampire in Your Life?

A post caught my attention today on the Psychologytoday website and it definitely merits to be posted here at Integral Life Blog.

It is about energy manipulation, victim mentality etc… and while in my psychotherapy practice and at our school for transpersonal (psycho)therapists I usually refrain from addressing such topics directly, it is actually quite common to encounter the so called “psychic or emotional vampire”. It is important to me to share these thoughts because…

…I have had my share of close encounters in the past with what seems to me a master psycho/emotional vampire and all I can say is that staying really true to the heart and soul is what keeps even the finest and the most sophisticated energy manipulation safely at bay.
:)

Being truly authentic and true to ones own inherent qualities or so called needs is more than enough to avoid energy vampires.

The article bellow is penned by Judith Orloff M.D., her website is only one click away >> (new web site opens up).

So here we go:

Learn how to protect yourself from draining people in your life

As a physician, I’ve found that the biggest energy drain on my patients is relationships. Some relationships are positive and mood elevating. Others can suck optimism and serenity right out of you. I call these draining people “emotional vampires.” They do more than drain your physical energy. The malignant ones can make you believe you’re unworthy and unlovable. Others inflict damage with smaller digs to make you feel bad about yourself. For instance, “Dear, I see you’ve put on a few pounds” or “You’re overly sensitive!” Suddenly they’ve thrown you off-center by prodding areas of shaky self-worth.

To protect your energy it’s important to combat draining people. The following strategies from my new book will help you identify and combat emotional vampires from an empowered place.

Signs That You’ve Encountered an Emotional Vampire:

– Your eyelids are heavy — you’re ready for a nap

– Your mood takes a nosedive

– You want to binge on carbs or comfort foods

– You feel anxious, depressed or negative

– You feel put down

 

Types of Emotional Vampires

1. The Narcissist

Their motto is “Me first.” Everything is all about them. They have a grandiose sense of self-importance and entitlement, hog attention and crave admiration. They’re dangerous because they lack empathy and have a limited capacity for unconditional love. If you don’t do things their way, they become punishing, withholding or cold.

How to Protect Yourself:
Keep your expectations realistic. These are emotionally limited people. Try not to fall in love with one or expect them to be selfless or love without strings attached. Never make your self-worth dependent on them or confide your deepest feelings to them. To successfully communicate, the hard truth is that you must show how something will be to their benefit. Though it’s better not to have to contend with this tedious ego stroking, if the relationship is unavoidable this approach works.

 

2. The Victim

These vampires grate on you with their “poor-me” attitude. The world is always against them, the reason for their unhappiness. When you offer a solution to their problems they always say, “Yes, but…” You might end up screening your calls or purposely avoid them. As a friend, you may want to help but their tales of woe overwhelm you.

How to Protect Yourself:
Set kind but firm limits. Listen briefly and tell a friend or relative, “I love you but I can only listen for a few minutes unless you want to discuss solutions.” With a coworker sympathize by saying, “I’ll keep having good thoughts for things to work out.” Then say, “I hope you understand, but I’m on deadline and must return to work.” Then use “this isn’t a good time” body language such as crossing your arms and breaking eye contact to help set these healthy limits.

 

3. The Controller

These people obsessively try to control you and dictate how you’re supposed to be and feel. They have an opinion about everything. They’ll control you by invalidating your emotions if they don’t fit into their rule book. They often start sentences with “You know what you need?” and then proceed to tell you. You end up feeling dominated, demeaned or put down.

How to Protect Yourself:
The secret to success is never try and control a controller. Be healthily assertive, but don’t tell them what to do. You can say, “I value your advice but really need to work through this myself.” Be confident but don’t play the victim.

 

4. The Constant Talker

These people aren’t interested in your feelings. They are only concerned with themselves. You wait for an opening to get a word in edgewise but it never comes. Or these people might physically move in so close they’re practically breathing on you. You edge backwards, but they step closer.

How to Protect Yourself:
These people don’t respond to nonverbal cues. You must speak up and interrupt, as hard as that is to do. Listen for a few minutes. Then politely say, “I hate to interrupt, but please excuse me I have to talk to these other people… or get to an appointment… or go to the bathroom.” A much more constructive tactic than, “Keep quiet, you’re driving me crazy!” If this is a family member, politely say, “I’d love if you allowed me some time to talk to so I can add to the conversation.” If you say this neutrally, it can better be heard.

 

5. The Drama Queen

These people have a flair for exaggerating small incidents into off-the-chart dramas. My patient Sarah was exhausted when she hired a new employee who was always late for work. One week he had the flu and “almost died.” Next, his car was towed, again! After this employee left her office Sarah felt tired and used.

How to Protect Yourself:
A drama queen doesn’t get mileage out of equanimity. Stay calm. Take a few deep breaths. This will help you not get caught up in the histrionics. Set kind but firm limits. Say, for example, “You must be here on time to keep your job. I’m sorry for all your mishaps, but work comes first.”

 

To improve your relationships and increase your energy level, I suggest taking an inventory of people who give you energy and those that drain you. Try to spend time with the loving, nurturing people, and learn to set limits with those who drain you. This will enhance the quality of your life.

 

Judith Orloff MD is bestselling author of the new book Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life (link is external) (Three Rivers Press, 2011) NOW available in paperback and upon which this article is based. Her insights in Emotional Freedom create a new convergence of healing paths for our stressed out world. An assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA, Dr. Orloff’s work has been featured on The Today Show, CNN, and in Oprah Magazine and USA Today.

The article above is penned by Judith Orloff M.D., her website is only one click away >> (new web site opens up).

Q & A: Avtentični nivo in onstran le-tega

Po objavi bloga Onstran egoizma: Avtentičnost, so se pojavila določena vprašanja, ki po mojem mnenju res kličejo po natančnejših odgovorih. Hvala za vprašanja :)

Here we go:

Q: Prebrala sem vaš članek na Integral Life Blogu in imam kar nekaj vprašanj. Najprej me zanima več info o individualizaciji in samoaktualizaciji iz vidika vsakdanjega življenja.

A: Hvala za vprašanje in branje mojega Bloga. :)
Da, glede na strokovno literaturo in predvsem na podlagi lastnih izkušenj in tudi opažanja napredka pri mojih strankah v seansah psihoterapije in na naši šoli za terapevte, je proces individualizacije posameznika res izrednega pomena.

Individualizacija (zame) v tem kontekstu pomeni postopni proces jemanja vajeti življenja v svoje roke. Če pogledamo Wilberjevo mapo stanj zavesti, je pred Centuarjem oz Avtentičnostjo nivo zavesti Mentalni Ego oz Instrumentalni Jaz, kjer vlada odtujenost od samega sebe, svojih občutkov in notranjih hrepenenj.

Posameznik na tem nivoju nima zares stika s svojimi lastnimi željami in cilji, niti z občutki – identificiran je s stvarmi, ki jih je pobral zunaj, iz okolice, od staršev, raznih družbenih sistemov in njih avtoritet. Ljudje na tem nivoju kot kaže živijo pač življenje kot vsi ostali, brez da bi se sploh kdaj zares vprašali o smislu.

In pot iz tega stanja odtujenosti je ravno proces individualizacije. Namesto, da posameznik sledi nekim avtoritetam zunaj sebe brez, da se sploh vpraša o vrednosti tega čemur sledi, se s procesom individualizacije postopoma osvobodi jarma vplivov iz okolja in počasi počasi prevzame odgovornost za sebe v svoje roke.

In kako se to dogaja v življenju, v praksi? Kako se to čuti v življenju posameznika?

Praviloma tako, da se postopoma posameznik prične zavedati, da ni prav zares zadovoljen (v službi, odnosih, v intimi itd…) in da dejansko ima izbiro, da lahko živi po svoje in da lahko sledi povsem unikatnim in pristnim občutkom v srcu, ne glede na okolje ali starše, recimo.

In to je v veliki večini primerov, po mojih opažanjih, lahko doooolgoletni proces. Večina ljudi (tudi jaz sem bil v tem čolnu) pluje po vodi odtujenosti in se dejansko morajo šele naučiti, kako priti v stik s svojimi občutki in notranjimi hrepenenji. Če jih tega niso s svojim primerom in vzorom naučili starši, se morajo naučiti sami. Mimogrede, umetnost življenja NVC (nenasilna komunikacija) je (zame) najenostavnejša in varna pot v Avtentičnost, prek individualizacije, seveda.

Individualizacija v tem kontekstu torej pomeni postopno osamosvojitev od v naprej sprejetih norm okolja in zunanjih avtoritet. Vendar kaj posameznik osvobaja, pravzaprav?

Svoje talente, svoje notranje unikatne in neizmerne potenciale. In tukaj lahko nadaljujem z odgovorom na vaše vprašanje in spregovorim o samo-aktualizaciji.

Samo-aktualizacija je, poleg individualizacije, naravni proces ozaveščanja in izgradnje res zdrave osebnosti. Oseba se je tako že prebudila iz spanca Mentalnega Ega (kjer je letela v isto smer z jato drugih galebov, brez da bi sploh razmislila, kaj sploh počne in zakaj) in sedaj ima dovolj samozavesti in samospoštovanja, da se ne kar apriori podreja avtoritetam in okolju. Zaveda se svojih sposobnosti in čuti, zares živo čuti, da je v njej Življenje, ki se skuša izraziti skozi njo.

In spet, kako se to zgodi v življenju? Kako to zaznava oseba sama?

Hja tako, da postopoma uredi svoje življenje tako, da njej ustreza. Praviloma se to zgodi morda najprej na osebnem področju – ljudje zapustijo disfunkcionalne odnose, v katerih so bili že vrsto let, recimo ali pa pustijo dead-end službo, saj vendar direktno zaznavajo, da si zaslužijo več in da jih nihče ne more ustaviti.

In to se dogaja s strategijo izpostavljanja, izražanja, kreativnosti, ranljivosti, mehkobe in učenja prepoznavanja potencialov v Srcu. Dejansko je to lahko, za veliko večino oseb kot kaže, res lep proces, proces, katerega ni namen napuh, napihovanje samopodobe in všečnosti moškim in/ali ženskam, temveč zavedanje Sebe in svojih notranjih potencialov in življenje v skladu z njimi ne glede na okolje in pozornost od zunaj.

Aktualizirajo oz udejanjajo torej svoje talente in notranje sposobnosti tako, da si “skreirajo” svoj svet. Počno tisto kar jim je všeč, ne pa to, kar se spodobi ali kar se od njih pričakuje.

Če lahko podelim svojo trenutno realnost, v življenju že dolgo časa ne počnem stvari, ki mi niso všeč, družim se s tistimi, ki mi na nek način doprinašajo k mojemu miru, svobodi; v mojem življenju besede “moram” ali “ne smem” enostavno ne obstaja. Delujem iz sebe, ne pa iz krivde, strahu ali iz prisile od zunaj.

Prevzemanje odgovornosti zase je na tem osebnem nivoju Avtentičnosti res pomembno, zame.

Q: Rad bi se vam zahvalil za res dobro napisano besedilo na temo egoizma in avtentičnosti. Mi je veliko pomagalo razumeti določene stvari (recimo to, zakaj mi prijatelji vse bolj govorijo, da sem postal čuden in zakaj je moj najstnik vse bolj “naporen”).
Zanima pa me naslednje: v besedilu pravite, da sta individualizacija in samoaktualizacija nujno potrebni za nadaljni razvoj. Zakaj? Kakšen nadaljnji razvoj imate v mislih?
Hvala vam.

A: Dobro vprašanje, hvala vam. :)

Ja, mladostniki in tudi otročki si gradijo svojo osebnost že od 2-3 let dalje. In če starši s svojo nad močjo in nadvlado potolčejo (če uporabim res milo besedo) to Življenje v njih, potem se pričnejo upirati tako ali drugače.

Menim, da je spoštovanje otrok in mladostnikov in njihove izbire (četudi je v nasprotju z izbiro staršev) res kolosalnega pomena.
Hmm. Če bi starši znali biti avtentični do svojih otrok, bi (psiho)terapevti ostali kmalu brez dela, tudi jaz. :)

OK, vaše vprašanje.

Moj odgovor je, da je Avtentičnost zgolj vmesna faza psihološko-transpersonalnega razvoja identitete (več o tej izredno pomembni temi recimo v briljantni knjigi A Guide to Integral Psychotherapy, avtorja Mark Formana, kupite jo lahko tukaj >> – odpre se nova stran).

Je povsem osebne narave, saj na tem nivoju prav zares ne moremo govoriti o duhovnih izkušnjah in o nadosebnih stanjih zavesti. Vmesna faza med relativno zmedenostjo in odtujenostjo osebno-materialnega nivoja Mentalnega Ega in čistostjo in jasnostjo Subtilnega nadosebnega nivoja.

Avtentični jaz je (iz mojega vidika in po mojih izkušnjah) zgolj senca Pravega in večnega Jaza –  Duše in je kot tak pač venomer nezadovoljen sam s seboj. Venomer ga lovi tendenca, da mora nekaj spremeniti, narediti in izboljšati, bodisi sebe ali svet. Mimogrede, zato je na Avtentičnem nivoju toliko ljudi izgorelih. Njihov Ego, Avtentični Ego jih venomer in dobesedno preganja v, kot kaže, prekomerno aktivnost.

Ampak ni kaj, po mojih opažanjih je to pač faza, ki jo pač vsakdo izkusi, tako ali drugače, in this life or the next.

Res zdrava in prožna osebnost (kar pomeni res izkustvena individualizacija in samo-aktualizacija), ki se kaže v zadovoljstvu in sreči v vsakdanjemu življenju, je iz mojega vidika nujno potrebna zato, ker gre razvoj identitete posameznika po Avtentičnosti naprej, na resnično transpersonalne nivoje zavesti. To je najprej t.i. Subtilni transpersonalni nivo, kjer vlada totalno druga realnost od avtentično-osebne.

Na tem nivoju je glavna predanost, ne pa samoaktualizacija in trud. Na tem duhovnem, torej na višjem Subtilnem nivoju, je že vse popolno, vse je narejeno tako, kot je povsem OK in Avtentični ego nima tle kaj iskati in spreminjati.

V bistvu je skoraj malce smešno: leta in leta (v mojem primeru recimo vsaj 10-12 let) se posameznik trudi in zmaguje na bojnem polju svojega osebnega življenja, ozavešča in presega svojo Senco in potem…

…na Subtilnem nivoju uvidi, da se bo treba vsem tem ego-tripom Avtentičnosti odpovedati. :)

In kakšen smisel ima odpovedovanje nečesa, kar sploh še nimamo?

Torej, če povzamem:
individualizacija in samo-aktualizacija in s tem Avtentičnost je, po mojih izkušnjah, nujno potrebna zato, da se oseba osvobodi svoje Sence (vsega, kar verjame, da je narobe z njo in s svetom, na kratko povedano) in da lahko potem postopoma opusti trde in materialne strategije spreminjanja sebe in sveta. Šele po doseženi Avtentičnosti in po preseženi potrebi po samo-potrjevanju in zmagah v lastnem znoju nastopi čas za predanost. Predanost čemu? Temu, kar že večno je in kar ne potrebuje ničesar iz tega materialnega sveta – Subtilni Jaz oz Duša.

Daleč daleč daleč onstran Avtentičnosti se zame pravo Življenje šele začenja…spontano, mehko in svobodno.

Aim Hrim Srim Klim

:)

 

 

 

Onstran egoizma: Avtentičnost

V tem blogu bi rad podelil z vami razmišljanje glede egoizma in Avtentičnosti, na podlagi osebnih izkušenj in seveda tudi strokovne literature humanistične in transpersonalne psihologije.

O čem bo tekla beseda?

V bistvu o razvoju identitete, o izgradnji osebnosti, o ozaveščanju občutkov in notranjih hrepenenj ter življenju v skladu z njimi.

Pri svojem delu v seansah (psiho)terapije in pri vodenju raznih seminarjev in delavnic na temo osebnega in duhovnega razvoja, pa tudi ob sproščenih pogovorih v krogu prijateljev in znancev, nemalokrat slišim besede: to, kar je naredila oseba XY je pa res egoistično; ali pa: moj otrok je vse bolj čuden, sploh ne upošteva več mojih želja; in predvsem: madonca, ta oseba pa res samo nase misli ipd…

In vedno se izkaže, da je ta oseba (ali otroček) pač sledila svoji realnosti, svojim občutkom in hrepenenjem in pač ravnala po svoje, navidez res ne glede na okolje in želje staršev, prijateljev, partnerjev itd…

Individualizacija in samoaktualizacija, ključna elementa doseganja in življenja stanja zavesti, ki sliši na ime Avtentičnost (ali t.i. Centuar, po sprejeti preglednici stanj zavesti po Wilberju) sta nujno nujno potrebna pri procesu psiho-transpersonalnega razvoja identitete človeškega bitja. Več o tem zelo artikulirano piše Carl Rogers v svoji knjigi On Becoming a Person (kupite jo lahko na amazonu, tukaj >> (odpre se nova stran))
Pravim nujno potrebna enostavno zato, ker je za nadaljnji razvoj (torej onstran Avtentičnosti) res močna in prožna osebnost, osvobojena osebne sence, ključnega pomena (več o tem recimo v knjigi The Transpersonal: Spirituality in Psychotherapy and Counselling, avtorja John Rowan, kupite jo lahko tukaj >> (odpre se nova stran))

Po domače povedano, ozaveščanje in občutenje svojih osebnih občutkov (sreča, mir, jeza, strah, veselje itd…) in notranjih hrepenenj (potrebe po recimo svobodi, kreativnosti, miru, razvoju, varnosti itd…) in potem seveda tudi delovanje v skladu s to notranjo realnostjo, je zelo zelo pomemben moment pri procesu doseganja srečnega in izpolnjenega življenja tukaj in sedaj.

Alternativa takemu življenju, ki seveda temelji na prevzemanju odgovornosti zase in za kvaliteto svojega bivanja, je seveda to, kar lahko vidim v naši mikro in makro socialni klimi vsak dan: pokoravanje avtoritetam, slepo sledenje pravilom, katere so postavili drugi, ne-prevzemanje odgovornosti zase (beri: nimam izbire (pogost izgovor, iz mojega vidika)), kazanje s prstom na druge/sistem/starše, zanikanje svojih lastnih talentov in potencialov, sprenevedanje, pasivnost, bežanje pred globljo realnostjo in še bi lahko našteval.

Carl Rogers pravi:
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
(prosti prevod: zanimiv paradoks je, da se lahko spremenim, ko sprejmem semega sebe takega, kot sem).

Jaz recimo v navedku zgoraj slišem samo eno: prevzemanje odgovornosti zase.

In prevzemanje odgovornosti zase je res (lahko) rešilna bilka. Moja (trenutna) realnost namreč je, da se bo oseba, ki res želi živeti srečno in izpolnjeno življenje tukaj in sedaj, znala potruditi za doseganje svojih ciljev.

In to seveda (lahko) v veliki večini primerov pomeni, da bo (morda) delovala v nasprotju s tem, kar od nje pričakuje okolje, starši, prijatelji in znanci.

Hmm. V bistvu je prav malce ironično: na poti do res trajne osebne sreče in izpolnjenosti tukaj in sedaj, se (na žalost) pokažejo prve ovire prav s strani staršev, prijateljev, sodelavcev. Seveda, saj je celo linearno logično: ljudje so navajeni na ustaljeni ritem in način razmišljanja in delovanja določene osebe; in ko se ta oseba prične osvobajati osebnih in povečini z vzgojo in družbo vcepljenih spon, to izpade čudno, egoistično in celo malce noro.

Ampak biti avtentičen (zame) v bistvu pomeni prav to: sledenje svojim pristnim (avtentičnim) občutkom in hrepenenjem in tudi delovanje v skladu s tem.

Se spominjam moje situacije izpred, ne vem, vsaj 20 let, ko sem pač avtentično sledil svojim notranjim hrepenenjem, svoji inspiraciji in takrat še zaposlen na Ministrstvu za notranje zadeve, prosil za neplačan dopust za, ne boste verjeli, v Indijo. :)
Zanimivo mi je bilo opazovati reakcije sodelavcev. Razen enega (še danes sem ti hvaležen za podporo, Đovani :)  ), so me vsi šlatali za glavo, češ, a si ti čist ok, se mi posmehovali in spraševali, pa kaj rineš v Indijo, a ne bi raje šel na Maldive ali na Florido, South Beach?

Neplačanega dopusta seveda nisem dobil, mi je pa nadrejeni šel na roko in mi dal ves zakonsko določen dopust na enkrat. Torej, v Indiji sem potem bil celih pet tednov in se tam ogroooomno naučil in poglobil svojo Avtentičnost in še marsikaj drugega.

Plavanje proti toku, življenje izven ustaljenih in nemo sprejetih norm okolice – to je pač (po mojih izkušnjah) neizogibni del procesa doseganja Avtentičnosti. In to, spet iz mojega vidika, nima prav nobene direktne ali posredne relacije z egoizmom.

Hmm. Če bi dal na stran vsaj 10 eur vsakič, ko sem v zadnjih petnajstih letih na seminarjih ali v seansah psihoterapije izrazil besede spodaj, bi se sedaj že dolgo časa vozil v novem Audiju ali v BMW-cu X6:

Postaviti sebe, svoje interese, svoje potrebe na prvo mesto (seveda ne prek trupel in s komolčkanjem, ampak na pristen in nenasilen način), je zelo potrebno za zdravo čustveno in fizično življenje tukaj in sedaj. Zaščititi svoje potrebe, svoja unikatna hrepenenja v srcu – to je nekaj povsem normalnega, zdravega in (iz mojega vidika) zelo zelo zelo zelo dobrodošlo.
Le kdo bo poskrbel za moje srce, če ne jaz sam?

Lahko pa seveda povsem razumem oz se vživim v recimo nekoga, ki se mu tako početje zdi egoistično. Verjetno ima ob pogledu na osebo, ki se res potrudi zase in ki zna aktualizirati svoje talente (bodisi v odnosih, v poslu, v intimi, pri vzgoji itd…) občutke zavisti, strahu morda, ker je tudi njemu pomemben napredek, svoboda in sreča?

Egoizem se iz mojega vidika morda rodi iz ranjenosti, nezadovoljstva in bolečine in se dejansko ne ozira na druge. Avtentičnost, po drugi strani, pa se rodi iz Živosti v srcu, iz živih živih hrepenenj po morda svobodi, lepoti in sreči in se ozira na druge, vendar postavi sebe na prvo mesto na nenasilni način in upošteva vendar NE prevzema odgovornosti za stanje in občutke drugih.

Avtentičnost skuša najti skupne rešitve, tako da sta obe (ali več) strani zadovoljene.

Avtentičnost, kot stanje zavesti, je zame daaaaaaleč onstran egoizma in želim si, da bi bilo vse več ljudi avtentičnih in tako znalo poskrbeti zase in svoje potrebe na res nenasilni način.

Razmišljanje bom zaključil z besedami enega od (idejnih) očetov oz utemeljiteljev stanja zavesti Avtentičnosti, Carl Rogersa:

“People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don’t find myself saying, “Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner.” I don’t try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds.”

(prosti prevod:
Ljudje so prav tako čudoviti kot sončni zahod, če jih le pustite biti. Ko pogledam sončni zahod, ne pravim “malce omili to oranžno kroglo na desni strani”. Ne poskušam kontrolirati sončnega zahoda. Dogajanje le s straho-spoštovanjem opazujem.)

:)

Hymn to Devi

Let me inside you
Into your room
I’ve heard it’s lined
With the things you don’t show

Lay me beside you
Down on the floor
I’ve been your servant
From the womb to the tomb
I dress as your friend
When the moon becomes round
You be my Devi
When everything’s gone

I hear Your voice
Coming out of Your heart
I listen to You
And I want some more
I listen to You
And I want some more

And She will always carry on
Something is lost
But something is found
They will keep on speaking Her name
Some things change
Some stay the same.

 

 

 

OMG I love this song.

:)

You Can’t Kill Your Ego: Love Her Instead

Well, the text bellow caught my attention on one of the FB groups I frequent, and it definitely merits to be re-posted here at the Integral Life Blog.

I have written extensively about the ego and how to relate to it in a nonviolent way, see the Blog series here (Embracing the Ego first part >>, second part >> and third part  >>).

 

 

So here we go:

You Can’t Kill Your Ego: Love Her Instead

There’s all this talk about killing off the ego, as if the same intelligence that holds up the sun and spins the earth made a mistake in giving humans an individuated sense of self, as if this sense somehow precludes our capacity to understand the interconnectedness of all things.

You cannot kill your ego, and any attempt to do so is, ironic as it sounds, an ego trick. Contrary to “consciousness propaganda” your ego is not a mistake made by nature that you must undo with your spirit breath.

If your ego mind, your conscious mind, your personality is somehow circumventing your happiness it is because it is unhealthy. Egos get sick. Installing a new age guru in your head isn’t going to heal your ego.

Panicking over the laws of magnetic resonance (LOA) because your unwell ego is chattering through its illness (the only way it can ask for help) because you fear it will bring destruction upon your house is counter-productive.

Your brain is an evolutionary masterpiece. Mind, while limited, is far from useless, innately bad, or even specifically obstructive. Your subconscious is a living library that remembers all the stories of the universe, especially the ones that are a part of you.

If you stop treating your ego like your enemy, and start dealing with all the negativity in your mind with compassion and non-resistance, with reasonableness, logic and deep, abiding love, she will start to heal.

As your ego slowly and gently is lead to health and wellness, you will begin to realize that she has always been your ally. She only wanted to keep you safe from disappointment, rejection, and other harm caused by other sick egos. She was only trying to ward off the forces that injure the mind.

As a result, she has been injured, she has caught the disease she’d spent all your life trying to ward off. Ineffective quarantine and hatred pointed inward keeps you from moving on. Without her you would never be able to manoeuver your physical life into alignment with the life that makes your heart sing.

Your ego is not stopping you. She is serving you the best way she can in her crippled state.

Nursing her back to health is a long-term commitment. It doesn’t matter if you live in a culture of throw-away things; this, you cannot escape. This, you may not discard.

You have two choices: live with your suffering, or treat the disease. The process of healing is hard labour, but it is labour that goes someplace new. Living with a sick ego is also hard labour, but it never gets easier, and you never relocate. Instead, your heart stays in quiet yearning and the life you dream of remains impossible to align with.

Instead of trying to withhold happiness and love from yourself based on an impossible demand (i.e. You may have the money, love, freedom that will make you happy if you will just shape up and stop having a broken bone, diabetes, cancer…) you could instead allow the chaos, apply the medicine, hold her while she wails and start becoming true again.

Let your ego express her grief, her rage, her terror about the exile, the torture, the abuse, the invisibility and the lack of appreciative acknowledgement that rendered her a foe, when all she wanted to do is serve you, your heart, your life and your mission. Hold her like a wailing child in your arms. She has survived a war and lost it all. Her mother: your heart, has been removed from her reality, and she grieves while her mother seeks the innocent child, the victim of circumstance left behind.

Let not the suffering your ego manages for you be in vain.

As you resurrect her in your arms, as her true nature emerges you will see how much you have lost, and you will grieve because it was your own blindness that has allowed this to happen. At the same time, your compassion practice will remind you that much of this distortion was unavoidable, and the holy moment when you start to love your ego will transform you.

As your ego begins to get healthy, you will become more yourself. That which is untrue may not come to the temple door, for it has no offering to lay upon the altar.

You need access to the truer, personal self because only you may knock upon the door of your own Divinity. The programs in you, the secret monsters, the voices of your governments, tribe and culture have no life in you but that which you are giving them, and these elements are the swine to which divine pearls may not be thrown .

It is not the ego itself that is the problem. It is a sickness that comes from ignorance of our authentic selves made manifest that we might see with true eyes. You don’t need to kill your ego. Make it healthy and you will see it’s purpose. You will remember that you were created perfectly. There has been no mistake. Yes, even your {gasp!} ego serves the One Love, but it cannot serve when it is sick.

~Alison Nappi